Reflecting on my high school journey for the commencement address of the Multiple Intelligence Middle School Graduation, April 2019.

The Hero’s Journey

Joseph Campbell studied the myths of the world and ancient rituals and discovered that throughout all cultures and all times, there exists one storyline, a mono myth – it was the archetypal journey of how an ordinary person becomes a hero. We see it today in our Marvel Super Hero origin stories, Star Wars sagas, and even the stories of Disney Princesses.  And since it is archetypal, we can see it in the story of our own lives. In fact, we will go through it at several stages of our lives. We are going through one right now. We have entered a dark theatre, away from our ordinary world. You are wearing special symbolic garments and will come out of this theatre, after we perform our rituals, transformed into new beings, ready for the next chapter of your lives.  

The outline consists of 15 stages. Today, I’ll compress them into six. As I go through them and tell a few stories, I encourage you to the stages in your own lives and where you are today in the Hero’s Journey.

01. The Status Quo

The first stage is the starting point: status quo. The subject of the story is going through their ordinary life that follows society’s expectations. Life is not bad but it is “Ok lang.”  

As the person goes through this ordinary life, there is a sense of dissatisfaction. Sometimes big and gnawing, and sometimes silent but constant. Tony Stark is a billionaire genius, who despite his fortune, fame, and the ability to have anything and anyone he wants, isn’t happy.  Steve Rogers wants to be a hero and serve in the war, but is too small and skinny and tends to be bullied all the time. Ariel wants to be part of someone else’s world. Like Belle, she wishes for something more than this provincial life. Maybe, like Mulan, she is asking herself who she is. Or like Moana, she feels called by the sea, and she doesn’t know why. 

02. Call to Adventure, Departure & Crossing the Threshold

Then something disrupts the status quo. It can be positive or it can be negative. Often, it is dramatic and calls or forces the subject into a new adventure.  Campbell says this is often signified by a cave – someplace dark and different and ominous. He says, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”  Tony Stark is kidnapped and literally kept in a cave. Steve Rogers is put in a sarcophagus-like structure to give him a superpower. Calls to adventure often have a departure: Belle must leave her home to enter the dark world of the Beast’s castle, Moana must leave her island home, Ariel must go to the surface world, and Mulan must ride her father’s horse and take his place. 

Calls are often dramatic because they must break you away from where you are, what you’ve gotten used to. Sudden success and recognition can do that. More often, it is failure and frustration. 

For me, at 13 years old, it was failure and frustration. In Grade 7, I wanted to win the highest award of my school. It was called the Xavier Award. Officially, it is described as “The highest award given to a student who, in the judgment of his teachers and peers, embodies to an outstanding degree, the ideals of Xavier school.”   It was an award that captured not just academic performance but also extracurricular involvement, and the “man for others” quality.  And I thought that was me. In fact, I thought I deserved it. My academics were mediocre to bad, but I was Student Council President. I thought that was enough.  

I didn’t get it. What made life worse was that I failed half of the levels in Chinese class. I would have to take summer classes. I disappointed my parents. I saw the frustration in their eyes.  If I failed the summer, I might have to repeat Grade 7. At 13 years old, that was my greatest fear.  It was public humiliation for me, and it shattered my 13-year-old world – I’m not who I thought I was, and now I’m forced into a place I don’t want to be in.   

Calls and disruptions, while dramatic, still require us to choose to cross the threshold. After the reactions of denial (this is not happening to me), disbelief (this can’t be happening to me), and rejection (I don’t want this), we can choose to deny them and go back to our ordinary world and what we know or our comfort zones or we can choose to lean into the growth that comes with the call.  But if there’s a thing about dramatic wake-up calls: they keep on coming back.  Small ones denied, pile up and sooner or later come back in a big, undeniable, major way — from heart attacks at 30 to anxiety attacks at 17 years old to major life events at 45.

So Tony decides to put on the cobbled-together suit and blast through the door of his prison.  Steve gets a helmet and leaves the camp to find his fellow soldiers. And Moana gets on the boat and sails past the reef that borders her island home. 

So what did I do – deny or lean into it?  I denied. I avoided what the dark situation was trying to tell me, just got through summer class, and decided to keep my head down moving forward.  I felt shame. The Filipino is more descriptive: Wala akong muka na mahaharap.  I had no face to use to face the world because my built-up public persona of 7 years was torn off. 

03. Mentors & Wisemen

In the dark, different world, the person meets mentors and wisemen and sidekicks. 

They teach us skills and give us weapons to harness our gifts – be it a sword, a shield, a special suit or some hidden super power within.  These are the Yodas and Dumbledores in our lives.  They teach us skills, but more so help us see the truth about who we are and what blocks us from being who we truly are. Stark meets a kind old doctor who tells him to make his life count. Steve’s mentor on his dying act points to his heart, reminding him the untrainable quality of heart is what makes him a hero, not strength and skill.  

Sometimes they are more funny and bungling than wise and knowing – more sidekick than mentor. Moana has Maui. Mulan has her three funny fellow soldiers. Belle has talking teapots and dancing candlesticks.  Luke has R2 and Threepeio.  In our role as teachers and parents and older friends, are we more mentor & wisdom person or sidekick & comic relief? 

Mentors teach us who we really are. And somewhere in their wise words is always a deep and personal challenge. 

My three mentors and wisemen came to me at Grades 9, 10, 11. 

In Grade 9, a wise old counsellor called me to his office. He said something about having a little above average IQ, some academic awards in Grade School,  but really doing nothing in the last five years. Could I show up? Could I use this potential and put it somewhere?  He said that required work and that it was up to me.  Slowly, I found myself trying harder and learning strategies to do exceptional homework and absorb as much material before a test. 

In Grade 10, an alumnus in charge of a retreat called the Days With the Lord invited me to be a speaker, a weekend leader, and eventually as part of the core group overseeing the entire retreat. For the first time, I was asked to make a difference in people’s lives by using my skills and whatever natural talents I had. This alumnus also challenged me in terms of character and attitude: if you’re going to do this work, you give 100%. Christ did not give you half a leg or half an arm or half a brain; you shouldn’t give less than everything that you have. I found myself staying two days a week after school for meetings and planning. And then preparing for talks and not sleeping for two days during the weekend retreats.

In Grade 11, I was elected President of the Student Council, and my one big audacious goal (& campaign promise) was to have a school fair.  In one meeting with school directors, academic heads, heads of security, accounting and alumni, we talked about the feasibility of having a fair that year. Everyone seemed to agree, and I thought I had a win until the head of carpentry and maintenance said something. 

In a room occupied by barongs and blazers who all agreed we could have a fair that year, there was this old Irish-American New York Province Jesuit who wore ratty Converse shoes, faded jeans, an old sports shirt that was too tight and a frayed baseball cap that smelled of sawdust. His name was Brother Dunne, and he said, “I don’t think we should have it.”  He then continued, “Having a fair is all well and good. But this is going to add more work to my guys at carpentry and maintenance.  We’ve got a full plate of things to do for the entire year to keep this school going. Who’s going to construct the booths and set things up and put things down when it’s all done?  For you guys, it’s one or two days. For us, it’s at least a month before, with overtime and a few days after.  And these guys have families to go home to.”  

That made me feel so small and yet grounded at the same time – my point of view was limited and self -centered; yet I was part of a team of better people. 

04. Challenges

Once you accept the call and listen to the instruction of the mentors, the challenges come. Stark must learn to use his suit. Ariel must learn to use her land legs. Moana must learn to navigate and sail. Harry must learn magic, and Luke must learn to use the Force. As the skill grows, so do the challenges. They become a test not just of skill and strength but also of character and heart.  Stark must stop terrorists. Steve must save the captured 107th.  Mulan must pass her training and win her first few battles. Moana must learn how to sail & navigate. 

The challenges sharpen the unwitting hero’s skill and slowly reveal the character qualities they need to use that hidden superpower. They also reveal the great quest: find the Holy Grail, secure the Tesseract, restore order back to Mother Nature, and stand up to the big bad bully who wants to destroy our way of life. 

For me, the quest was to find my greatest treasure, the pearl of great price: find my place in the world. Today, I use the words the intersection of passion points & the world’s pain points.  The challenges got me out of my self-imposed hole, use my supposed potential, any skill I had, learn new ones, and to work consistently for something other than myself or some award or some recognition,… to work for others and make a difference in their lives. 

I was studying every day, going through homework twice, and if a big test came, study for three or four days. I’d review, make a self-test, take the test, review how I did and then study again to correct the mistakes. I’d stay late after school for Student Council meetings or Days with the Lord preparations.  Sooner or later, the night guards and janitors knew me. 

05. Crisis

Challenges get more difficult until they reach the ultimate battle. Any gamer knows this: sooner or later, you reach the boss level – the biggest, baddest opponent you’ve ever faced.  Joseph Campbell called this the mythical dragon – the biggest, baddest enemy that is larger and stronger than you.  

Campbell says the dragon is the reflection of the hero’s greatest fear.  It is somehow connected to you and is like you. Tony must face his first suit – something that he created but is now mutated into something larger, stronger and badder. Steve must face a super soldier like himself. Luke at the final test of his Jedi training, must enter a cave to face Vader, his greatest fear, who, underneath the mask, is exactly himself.  And the Avengers must face Thanos – He is bigger and stronger and also says he is a hero – his purpose is to save the world,  his method is to use the unique power that he has, in the way that he wants, because he doesn’t believe in any other way. 

Facing the dragon is the point of crisis. “We are in the endgame now,” Steven Strange says. There are no more levels after this because it is the point of life or death. Succeed or fail. Do or do not, there is no try.

In our movies and in our personal myths, the test is not one of skill and strength and strategy but one of heart. Do I keep on going when it doesn’t seem possible? Do I keep on giving and trying even if it means losing everything?  There is a line that defines heroes and those who just claim to be. That line is drawn at the point of crisis. Not before and not after, but at this point of greatest challenge, biggest fear. 

When that line is crossed, often there is a statement of identity because the hero realizes who they really are.  I am Ironman. I am Superman, and this symbol means hope. I am Moana of Motonui.  “I am Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals, and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons.” 

Part of the statement of identity is that of history and the journey taken to be here because there is a sense not just of who I am but a sense that one’s personal history, significant experiences, and all the life lessons have prepared one to do this.

The turning point is not when the hero wins but when the hero decides – win or lose, this is who I am, and this is what I am about. And this is the point when the reluctant subject, the everyday ordinary person, transforms into a hero. It is not strength and skill and success but purpose and heart.  

The interior task at crisis is not to win. The task is to show up. To show up to what scares you and frightens you, that wakes you up at 2 am, that wants to make you hide and sleep and keep your head down and not show up, that beats you every chance it gets, and it seems to be unbeatable.  The task is to show up to face your greatest fear.  And that’s what makes heroes, heroes.

Showing up means fighting and finding courage.  And for those who’ve gone through this, you will understand: it also means embracing our darkest shadow and forgiving & loving the source of our greatest fear.  Moana wins not by beating Teka but by healing her with understanding and love and transforming her back into Tafiti. Luke wins the day not by beating Vader, but by losing to him and then appealing to his love. The love that transformed Anakin, Padme’s husband to Vader and now back to Anakin Luke’s father.  

06. Return of the Hero

So win or lose. Let me repeat that, win or lose, the hero returns to the ordinary world, now transformed and with a gift, a power, a weapon that will solve the problems of the community.  The gift comes from the mentoring and challenging and facing the greatest fear.  And sooner or later, once we take on our new roles, there will be new calls, new challenges, bigger, badder dragons to face … for what are sequels for? 

For me, a little past middle school, the challenges of the wisdom figures helped me show up to my own potential. I started working harder, getting good grades, making a difference in people’s lives, and humbly accepting my small role in the life of an institution larger than myself. 

To this day, the learnings then have formed the template of what, how and why I do what I do today. I could not find a media company that believed what I believed. So I showed up to my own vision and ability to produce stories to start an independent media company. I knew I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives, so the shows we did and accepted to do always had to fulfill one non-negotiable requirement – Does this move this country and people forward? If the answer was yes, we did it. If the answer was no, we didn’t do it (even if we needed the revenue). This resulted in Green Living on ANC, Harvest on CNN, The Eco Traveller for the Go Asean Network, Driven and Crawl for the Lifestyle Network (now the Metro channel) and GAMEPLAN, It Counts and Project: Passion on YouTube and Facebook.  And I find that I am humbled that I am part of something larger than myself; because there are many there are many unseen, unknown people and organizations, start-ups and social enterprises trying to solve the problems and pain points in our country from traffic to the the environment, from politics to personal growth, from sustainability to national pride and identity in the world stage.  I don’t have a feeling of “arriving” or “making it” because there is so much work to do. 

How does my middle school and High School story end?

Two weeks before finishing high school, I was walking down the corridors and went past the teachers’ room. A teacher came out and said, “Jake, congratulations. It was an unanimous vote.” I didn’t understand what she meant. She said, “Jake, you don’t know?  The teachers and administrators just decided that you’ll get the Xavier award.” 

Come graduation day, as my proud parents put the Xavier award on me, I found words to my first big life lesson:  you get what you really want when you don’t want it anymore.  The medal didn’t matter to me; the experience getting there did. The recognition didn’t matter to me; the learning from the journey did (and still does).  In the framework of the Hero’s Journey, it didn’t matter if I won or lost, it didn’t matter if I got the medal or not; what mattered the most was that I showed up.  In the end, I got more than I hoped for and so much more than I originally imagined.  That was the real treasure, the Holy Grail, the pearl of great price. 

Closing

So graduates, parents, teachers and administrators, that’s why I’m here today to simply and humbly share with you a framework that hopefully helps you understand the story of your lives so far and your role in other people’s lives – to understand where you’ve been, why things have happened to you and what it can mean in the future … and that we share the same storyline of heroes and therefore are part of something larger than ourselves. 

If this speaks to you. If your heart is somehow moved… If your vision has blurred on the sides and you find time has slowed down… if you wanted to take a picture and post a quote on Instagram and Twitter, then my last words to you will be bold, unsolicited advice: show up. 

Show up to your calls, be you student, parent, teacher or staff. 

Show up to the calls that disturb your status quo and comfort zones, and what you think you want and dream of.  Show up to the passions that energize you and paralyze you, the things that motivate you & scare you at the same time

Show up to the lessons, challenges of mentors and trials. Show up to your own potential and face daily trials. Show up despite the fears and smallness. Show up despite the judgment and potential criticism and the guarantee of being misunderstood.  Show up to the daily unseen, unrecognized, unglamorous work. Show up even in the days when you don’t believe.   When you do these things, you will grow in power and skill and confidence and in strength of character. 

And when it gets tough, and you face the failure that takes on the form of your greatest fears, show up. Show up with whatever you have. Show up with your 100%, no matter how that looks like.   

Show up because you want to. Show up not because of what someone says or what the world expects or will recognize or reward. Show up for you and for others because the journey will lead you to a gift that will change the world. 

Deepak says: “If you speak to the head, you speak to the level of the head.  If you speak through the heart, then you speak to the level of the heart.  But if you speak through your life and your life is the story, then you will change lives. That is what mythical beings do.” 

That is what heroes do.